The “M” Word

Hello again. I have finally reached a moment of absolute clarity to where I can hear my thoughts as full of words unspoken with life that I felt the need to write.

A few weeks ago, I went through one of the worst times of my life since the start of the year. It’s really true what they say when they say you never think it’ll happen to you until it does. To be honest, it wasn’t that I thought it couldn’t happen to me but that it just never occurred to me of it happening until reality set in after the doctor spoke to me about it with sad eyes. Fortunately I read so much about it prior to it happening, that it luckily prepared my mind and eased a lot of thoughts I had.

I went through my first miscarriage. I feel brave to talk about it now because I finally allowed myself to accept it and move forward once we found out it was failing. That word is so strong with the way they said it. They called it a pregnancy failure ultimately. Technically that’s the term used for it but it sounds so negative. I was just fortunate enough to have met this situation with a mind that I’ve been prying open.

It all started when I was late but I was late and not pregnant, so it was very concerning to me what was going on. I had home pregnancies telling me I was pregnant and I had one doctor tell me it was too early to tell. I had to know since I was so late, why it showed I was pregnant when I’m not or if I was pregnant, why wasn’t it showing up? I continued on normalcy by working out and eating healthy. It was just nerve wrecking to not know what was going on until I finally went to my first doctor appointment and we saw the proverbial yolk sac but in my case, no fetal pole. I was stamped with threatened miscarriage which obviously sent me through an emotional downward spiral (with raging hormones no less). I was just stuck in the unknown, maybe a baby will show up but maybe not.

I got knowledgeable with terms and initially I was filled with hope because of all other stories and thinking,  maybe I can save it. I stayed as still as I could for 2 weeks, doing very minimal things, not working out, eating whatever I wanted. I know they say some of these things are inevitable but I couldn’t give up until I was given confirmation that it wasn’t happening.

My body finally took it’s course and did what it had to do to let it go. I felt relief, sad, and grateful all at once. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it at first because I didn’t want any sympathy. I think watching people with their sad eyes when I mention my miscarriage made me more sad than my actual miscarriage and I certainly didn’t want to cry about it. I think I just made it to a point in my life where I felt and knew there was the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt faith in myself and in my life that things will get better. Very shortly after I got over it and got back into my routines and habits. I was able to lift myself back up.

I knew I would because I always did. My mind state was that I would survive this and try again when I felt ready. I wanted to avoid the heartache of having it happen more than once in a year so I’m in no rush. I’m finally at peace with it and thought to myself, I wonder if I was ready anyway. Was there something in the Universe saying that it would be best if I waited longer? I always wondered if I was being protected from something that would’ve came from this. I always decided that if things happened the way it did that I would just trust the process. I knew it could have been worse than it was and for that I am grateful.

I just appreciate the support my mom gave me. I appreciated her more than ever because I’m not sure how well I would’ve went through it without a little bit of support from someone who has gone through it. I realized then how much only a little bit can do but not only that, I was grateful to get to know the experience so that if someone I know goes through it, I’d be able to be there for them too.

If you have any stories, feel free to post whether successful or not ❤ I’m just grateful to be alive, have the one that I do have and have felt love from my spouse throughout it all.

With Love,

Martha

Enjoying New York with a New Perspective

There is this small town I grew up in, in New York that I always imagined one day I would leave. I left that small town probably when I was 19 years old in pursuit of a different life thus I ended up in Ohio. Living in Ohio, I have experienced a new world. It’s nothing compared to the quietness of a small town that I grew up in. Where I am in Ohio is very city like and always full of people and things to do. I am near the center of it where countless people from countless cities around frequent. There are a wide range of limitless options whether it’s food, bars, relationships, schools, etc. I have yet to even get through all the new restaurants and shops that exist around here. Even though it’s busy all the time and it feels like my head spins when I drive up and down the different cities around here, I found a place I can call home, even if it’s completely different in comparison to what I used to call home.

Then my actual home calls to me and I answer the call to visit. When I go back, each and every time I visit some place I used to visit, I create a new memory. Like this time around, I went to my hometown in NY recently and made a point to relax and enjoy the local businesses near my hometown. Unlike what my younger self would have done, my 28 year old self experienced an appreciation for a small business called DeFelippis café. I just itched for a local coffee that wasn’t Dunkin’ Donuts or McDonalds (something that I could’ve gotten anywhere) and wished I had brought a book on my trip, so I could have a few minutes of silence. It was late in the morning when I was eating a few biscotti’s while having simple conversation with my fiancé while people watching at DeFilippis café. The richness of great customer service at a local café as well as the quality of their coffees and pastries reminded me that I could never find that in a franchise.

Two of the four mornings were spent like this except for the mornings I went to eat breakfast at Tilly’s. I would always see that really nice red head lady with glasses. I’m sure she’s been working there longer than I can remember and it just gave me the feeling that I never left. I spent one of those Tilly mornings eating breakfast with one of the friends I have known since I was little. She is someone who is always friendly and warm and managed to understand my fiancé’s humor. We spoke endlessly about her plans and her dreams avoiding any negative talk like the plague. She introduced me to a Greek omelet which was something I have never tried before, thinking how I have looked over the menu tons of times and always overlooked the experience of something new. I made sure to order something different the next time I went.

While I was NY, I also experienced a whole different appreciation for the small towns near my hometown. We spent a lot of time at this bar where I danced literally like no one was watching to some 2000’s hip hop music around I used to listen to. I visited that same bar later when it wasn’t as busy and I think that was the best visit there because only a few people were there and we got to enjoy a drink. I just wondered how I missed out on being an adult in the towns I used to live in. Being back had brought me strong feelings of nostalgia.

I spent most of my time with my sister and brother in law and nephew. I got to walk up from their spot to this huge open field for a small workout, you know, to make sure I “stay on track” (didn’t last very long). It reminded me how nice it was to be able to walk to a location without the struggle of needing to cross busy streets to get there. Every time we would drive by Morningside, I just thought about the times I used to play there when I was a kid, swim in their pool, and boat in their lake. Being outside around this time let me inhale the most cleanest air that nature could offer.

Then when I come back to Ohio I’m reminded that I enjoy stopping by but I probably won’t go back to live there again. I will keep the times I enjoyed there as what they are- as memories to hold onto and do my best to not take for granted the cities nearby now that my daughter will end up calling her home.

Love,

Martha

Grateful Holding You

One of the very few things in my life that brings me tremendous joy is holding my daughter in my arms to put her to sleep. Every time I hold her, I always think to myself how much I will miss her warmth. I take the moment to really soak up the present. I smell her hair and her skin, her 4 year old skin that only grows. I cherish feeling her be that small for the last time because all she’s going to do is grow. So I sing to her and I try to remain aware and not feel so quick to go watch a movie and have me time. My mind often wonders to what I’m going to do when I have my me time but this time, it will be her time.

I think one of the things I struggled most with as a new mother was being able to bond with my child. I don’t feel ashamed to say it because it’s true. It was my struggle. I had been feeling depressed before and after pregnancy. I had to force myself to even get up and do things as well as take care of the baby. I was tired all the time and moody. It was one of the most difficult transitions/phases of my life. I thought I would never be able to grow out of it but with new transitions and phases in life, comes challenges. I pushed through the challenges I faced wondering if I would ever get through them. Eventually, I grew from them. It was those challenges and painful moments that molded and shaped me to work on becoming better.

When I didn’t even think I would become an adequate mother let alone a good mother, here I am. Although I can’t consider myself great or perfect-your good old trophy mom-I mean she’s fed, loved, and dressed so that counts right?

I think we as mothers put so much pressure on other mothers to get it together when in reality it’s a struggle. We struggle to take care of ourselves because we’re so busy taking care of new life when we have newborns. Taking care of oneself is harder when breastfeeding. At that point you are simply a buffet for your human that needs you. I still struggle today. As parents we all struggle. It’s a different beast to face every day, literally.

We are teaching a human or humans who are new to the world how to be human and to be a decent human all the while some of us adult humans have become cynical from the trenches of adulthood. I find that I had push myself to start developing so that I may be able to fill my cup so that I can pour into her cup. It’s to the point that I’ve considered my body a shell, a miraculous vessel that I have to care for if I want to continue to make more or give quality time to my daughter.

Then, there are those moments of clarity in parenthood. Like when I have filled my cup with positivity and joy. There are those days I fed my spirit with the word of the Bible and I feel satisfied in my self development so that I can apply myself and be with my daughter in the best version of myself that I can be that day. I do it to where I can finally feel like, I made it through.

I make it so that the end of the days are worth it. After smiling in the midst of chaos of bills and adulthood, I would finally get to hold her while she sleeps. I feel the most sense of fulfillment when the silence fills the room and all I hear is the whispering of my  voice singing “Los Pollitos” while I listen to her heavy breaths of exhaustion.

There’ll never be a better feeling felt as a mother than to feel your little creation safe and sound and for that, it is all worth it.

Love,

Martha

Weight Loss – My journey

I found Herbalife maybe about a year ago. To this day, I’m very thankful I came into the opportunity. It has not only helped me grow mentally but also allowed me to use an outlet to discipline myself in various ways through the trials and tribulations.

To give you a backstory about how my weight has fluctuated, I actually grew up overweight and at some point in my youth had accepted that I would always be overweight the rest of my life. I’ve experienced the comments of being overweight throughout my entire childhood which really chipped into my self-esteem. Growing older though and understanding how everyone’s body is different, opened my eyes to how things actually are. Seeing a lot of how genetic make up was heavily involved with how our bodies come to be, I came to know that some of my genetic make up made it clear that it would be easy for me to gain weight and very hard to lose it.

I spent a lot of elementary school wearing baggy clothes and a lot of my middle school doing the same because I was overweight. I didn’t eat healthy either. A lot of the times I would eat fast food like burgers and fries. I was never into eating vegetables or even salads. In fact, I loathed the idea of a cold soggy food item entering my palette. Sometime after though, I started to lose weight. I wasn’t eating healthy but I stopped eating after a certain time to lose weight and only ate a small bowl of rice for dinner with moderate exercise.

Soon I became very skinny. There was a moment when I had a fear of gaining all the weight back and reverting back to that place of being classified as overweight thus being unfavorable again so I kept the weight loss going. I found myself in places many girls find themselves in, which is with some sort of of B.O.D. I felt that I was fat even though I fit in size 0 pants. I had been during my sweet 16, extremely underweight for my height. My sweet 16 picture is a reminder of what I would look like if I allow myself to have a wrong misconception about my weight.

Throughout high school regardless of the views I have had of myself, I was always interested in playing sports and always participated in whatever gym day activities happened. I actually enjoyed them because they gave me a release (mind you I was a teenager). Shortly afterwards, during my junior/senior year I stayed after for gym sessions to keep me busy from things that I thought were important at the time. I had done track briefly. I had only taken maybe 1-2 years of cheerleading and by college I was one of the first full blown boot camp cheerleader trainee. All the while still I was eating ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I wanted with no knowledge of nutrition by then but since I was doing so much cardio my metabolism was high up there so I didn’t question it. I made it to Ohio with the same mentality, just working out and having no structure for food or working out like when it came to weights with the machine. Still, I was eating what I wanted.

Soon I became pregnant and STILL thought I could eat whatever I wanted, thinking that my body is the same 15 year old body can just eat whatever and workout and I’ll be good. I didn’t understand how portion sized work, how my brain processes food when I’m full, how carbs worked, and how water can help one feel full. I also didn’t understand the sugar levels fluctuating hormonally. I gave birth and shortly after found that I was overweight. I couldn’t even go shopping because I always thought my 15 year old metabolism would kick in and I’d lose the weight. I was dead wrong!!

Something I won’t forget whenever I do look back into some experience was just wondering why whether I got really skinny or not, I was never toned. I did have the misconception then that I didn’t want to gain muscle, assuming I’d look bulky if I did. This was a time where I had very low self development and had never asked questions to get answers. Knowing what I know now, a lot questions of questions were answered. Most/all of them were answered after getting into Herbalife and learning that they’re protein shakes. The protein powder got me more involved into wondering the science behind it and how it would help me tone up. I did notice certain muscle groups forming shortly after starting Herbalife.

Fast forward to when I joined Herbalife. I discovered plenty of things. At first, I thought Herbalife was just going to give me products I needed to lose weight. I didn’t think much about the products possibly assisting me in muscle gain. All I saw were people who had been running towards goals I had in mind. I just wanted to be fit and lose the blasted pounds I could NOT shake off. Herbalife literally was the vessel I needed to make me understand what I needed to do to get to where I want to be. I didn’t understand how important certain meals needed to be not just for weight loss but also for muscle maintenance.

I was introduced to a whole different kind of world that not only assisted me with what I needed physically but I found what could help me business mentality wise. I was introduced to things like self-development and being disciplined as well as social media marketing. Mind you, I very rarely had anyone train me to do these things. I at my own pace applied myself to do things I wanted to learn. I found myself building up today physically and mentally to the person I want to be. I found myself in a mind space that’s very peaceful and I am just very thankful that I was able to find this opportunity and learn a different kind of discipline and consistency and understand the truth of  what it would be like to be self-employed.

This is written as a piece based on my experience.

Love,

Martha

Disclaimer:

Consumers who use Herbalife Formula 1 twice per day as part of a healthy lifestyle can generally expect to lose around 0.5 to 1 pound per week. Participants in a 12-week, single-blind, study used Formula 1 twice per day (once as a meal and once as a snack) with a reduced calorie diet and a goal of 30 minutes of exercise per day. Participants followed either a high protein diet or a standard protein diet. Participants in both groups lost about 8.5 pounds.

My Weight Loss Journey – Starting over (Postpartum)

I will never forget the first time I went shopping for some work pants a while after giving birth to my daughter. At the time I have been using my maternity clothes, trying to hold off buying new clothes, thinking I will lose the weight (soon in my mind). I realized later on that I needed variety.  This was the first time I felt confused in my body. I still felt like I was in the same body before I got pregnant.

I learned the hard way how untrue that was. It was the first time I didn’t know where to start with in sizes as an adult and the last time I had this type of problem was in my childhood which obviously was not under the same circumstances and could wear any baggy t-shirt to school, not like a corporate job where I had to dress business casual everyday. I had to spend a really long time and a lot of energy to figure out my correct pant size was and this put me in a bout of depression. For a while I did not feel like myself and felt down. As trivial as it sounds, we women care a lot about our appearance.

So in trying to figure it out, I was entering fitting room after fitting room and could never find anything that felt and looked flattering. I also had not wanted to reward myself with new clothes that I felt I would potentially wear temporarily.

Then one summer, I  went on vacation to Virginia Beach with my family and just felt so tired from walking and riding the bike that I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I wanted to. It was still enjoyable but I felt like it would have been more enjoyable had I had more energy and stamina. This desire to run in circles with my daughter on top of my clothing dilemma inspired me to start a weight loss journey.

I initially started with the 10,000 steps a day and I was counting mentally and just kept guessing which I’m sure looking back I probably overestimated how much I actually walked. At the time, I didn’t lose anything but then again, at this time I wasn’t watching what I ate.

Then one day a person I respect very much just told me to incorporate calisthenics and I had no idea what that was so I looked it up. All I thought was that looks hard. I couldn’t even do half of one push up at the time. Then what started off as something gradual working out twice per week for 20 minutes became progressive and now I work out at least 4 times a week for 45 minutes to an hour. These were the first YouTube channels that I felt would help me:

Fitness Marshall
Club Fitz
Dance with Jessica
Popsugar Fitness

When it came to my diet, I saw an interview with Dr. Oz on the Breakfast Club which is a radio station I frequently listen to. In the interview I remember Dr. Oz using visuals to inform on the effects of sodium and sugar intake. I managed to remember the picture of what was going on but am unable to remember the date and time.

I didn’t realize how much sugar and sodium can affect our bodies so negatively. There is apparently a recommended daily consumption limit for these things according to the Health.gov website. So I learned to maintain sugar intake between 25-30 grams and not exceed that amount daily. That’s for ONE day, so that means throughout my entire day, what I eat does not exceed my sugar intake. However, I realized how one can EASILY go through that. Like with a can of coke – it’s exceeding the daily limit and having two would’ve doubled that intake. I found that most processed foods contain so many grams of sugar as well. After so much research of sugar intake, I also found that being used to sugar consumption can also lead to Leptin Resistance(Shapiro, A., Mu, W., Roncal, C., Cheng, K.-Y., Johnson, R.J., & Scarpace, P.J. (2008).) in which the brain no longer “hears” the message to stop eating.

I had that problem for so long then with the above knowledge, I took control of my life back and have never felt more energy. People ask me constantly what I have done to lose weight and it’s really the only true and same message we all know but refuse to believe. It’s all blood, sweat, and tears in eating healthy and exercising often. There’s no secret nor magic pill that will take you there. It’s all pure hard work and most people often only see the result and don’t really see anyone do what it took to get there. Weight loss I found requires consistency, discipline, and a “can-do” attitude.

Maybe you had a different experience? If so, leave comments below! Let me know what YOU did to help motivate you, get you started, or what you did to lose/gain the weight you did!
Love,

Martha

References:

https://health.gov/dietaryguidelines/dga2005/healthieryou/html/chapter8.html

http://sugarscience.ucsf.edu/the-growing-concern-of-overconsumption/#.Wo22z_6ouCo

Shapiro, A., Mu, W., Roncal, C., Cheng, K.-Y., Johnson, R.J., & Scarpace, P.J. (2008). Fructose-induced leptin resistance exacerbates weight gain in response to subsequent high-fat feeding. American Journal of Physiology. Regulatory, Integrative and Comparative Physiology , 295(5), R1370–1375. doi:10.1152/ajpregu.00195.2008

http://www.doctoroz.com/article/theres-just-no-sugarcoating-news

Healthy Living and Protein

So it has been a few months since I have been on this Herbalifestyle (ha ha) and so far I have to say the results have been phenomenal.

What started off as a simple direct mission for weight loss, ended up being a complete detox and rebuild of my life which in turn propelled me into a mission of growth.

Two events that occurred today, inspired me to write this post. First, was the realization that in the past, I used to be a heavy coffee drinker. I used to drink coffee at least 4 times a day. It would literally be very unhealthy amounts of coffee consumed but I always figured, well they help me use the bathroom and give me energy so why not, right?

With being months deep into Herbalife and forgetting my tea today, I tried to drink my first cup of coffee in a long time. I could only take a few sips before I decided to pour it in the sink and toss it out.  I honestly was in disbelief at how much I was able to wean myself from coffee to the point where I don’t even crave coffee at all. I actually had natural energy that I was able to stretch for the whole day. Thanks to my program I drink green tea and aloe at least once or twice a day.

Second, was being able to share resources and information I obtained from my Herbalife program to someone very close to me to provide encouragement and mental support. I did this with someone today by strongly suggesting to listen to TD Jake’s speaking “On Leadership”. I just felt useful to be able to offer something like this to someone for motivation.

I also want to discuss why I’m still on it, even though I have reached my weight goal. I really wanted to wait until I spent a little bit of time on it to really have given it a shot. To start, before I even got on the program, I have not been on any type of structured eating schedule and have not been drinking as much water as I thought I have been. I had already lost some weight post pregnancy on my own. This turned into a way for me to taking a real good look at how my eating habits were. It took a few months to really get into the swing of things but once I understood how it actually works, I took it seriously.

The controversy with protein shakes is that it’s not “food” and that it’s a “diet” shake meant to make you skinny only. I have actually found that Herbalife, although different in its own right, is similar to many supplements out there on the market that assists with weight management which is in essence modifiable based on what your goals are. A person like me who exercises regularly needs more protein to help my results go from “meh” to “wow”. (Georgie Fear, RD). I found that Herbalife was giving me the protein I need for muscle recovery.

Herbalife also has the ability to provide vitamins and minerals for people who are on the go, not eating enough, and for people who’s intention to lose weight. For the most part, unless you’re eating certain foods RAW (and some raw foods contain pesticides and chemicals), you are stripping away the enzymes that most raw foods have that are necessary for your body to function properly and well. (Dr. Mercola).

Overall, the diet or lifestyle change is based on your goals. Mine at first was to lose weight but since I decided I want to be toned, I realize that it’s a different way I need to consume protein and structure my workout plan. Ultimately it still involves protein consumption to support weight training.

When I decided on toning up, I found myself on another side of a spectrum that I never knew existed which ended up in my seeking resources and credible articles to help me understand where I’m trying to go as well as how to get there.

Small backstory. I used to be overweight growing up. I endured bullying and by High School I lost pretty much all the excess weight I had carried with me through most of my childhood. I had literally gone to the gym everyday and never did anything structured. I always just did my own thing and left. I eventually just got really skinny which looked unhealthy considering my height. I, at the time, didn’t know about protein intake post workout, pre-workouts, or even how to eat properly. End.

I am now in a place where I have experienced being inexperienced deciding to become a little bit more familiar with what I should be doing on a daily basis for proper weight management. These are things I have learned within the last few months after getting into my program with Herbalife.

What I have been taught throughout my journey also, is the importance of consistency and self-discipline. These will take you further because when you are disciplined you are showing your commitment to your results.

It is your mind which is the foundation of how far your actions will take your intentions. The more positive and motivational thoughts that you allow enter your mind, the more determined you become. It can potentially train your mind to speak to you in moments you need it. (Dr. Kell)

Maybe Herbalife isn’t for you or maybe it is. Who’s really to say unless you tried it? But I just know that much of my physical and mental aspects have changed since I started.

No, I am not providing you a biased opinion and I was not paid to write this. Trust me when I say I was hesitant at first, wasn’t sure what I was getting myself into, and feeling very skeptical. I have also experimented in which I have stopped taking Herbalife to see what would happen and have been completely fine. All of this was just to detail my experience with it and to educate on the actual purpose of protein powder consumption. I’ve linked resources from reputable sources below for more specific information.

Pretty happy with where I’m at today and I’ve still got long to grow. If it seems like something you want to try or get into, let me know! The beauty of it is that it’s not only just for weight management but also for many other health benefits such as digestive, skin, etc.

Free wellness profile & meal plan by clicking:

https://marthadonis.goherbalife.com/Account/Register/Index/en-US?returnUrl=https%3A%2F%2Fmarthadonis.goherbalife.com%2FCatalog%2FHome%2FIndex%2Fen-US

Before starting any new diet or workout regime please consult with your doctor first.

Love,
Martha

References:
https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/11/10/cooked-food-diet.aspx

Does Listening to Motivational Speakers Really Make a Difference?

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/food/protein-powder-guide

Disclaimer:

Consumers who use Herbalife Formula 1 twice per day as part of a healthy lifestyle can generally expect to lose around 0.5 to 1 pound per week. Participants in a 12-week, single-blind, study used Formula 1 twice per day (once as a meal and once as a snack) with a reduced calorie diet and a goal of 30 minutes of exercise per day. Participants followed either a high protein diet or a standard protein diet. Participants in both groups lost about 8.5 pounds.

Finding Love

I think sometimes we over think this love thing, hell, I mean I know I have. I always thought of love being this perfect little fairytale out of a book. You know, where the Prince Charming somehow becomes your savior or hero in action.

Boy was mine a long shot from a perfect knight in shining armor. I think we disappoint ourselves when we have a checklist in mind for who we think we will end up with. He was complex but for me, easy to understand. He was sweet yet yet rough at times. I always wondered how the outcome would be given that I’ve received so many mixed signals at first but our attraction was undeniable. We were told constantly that we should date and it never occurred to me that we actually would until we did. It tickled my curiosity to find out what it would be like especially since he was so quiet and his silence intrigued me. Not only did he make me curious but I enjoyed his company genuinely so I figured it can’t be bad, right?

Well, within those months I was at a time that I call the time period of finding myself. I was still super new to the real world. I haven’t been given much common sense to take with me so most of the time I was oblivious to my own ignorance and nevertheless I did it my way anyway.

I had let myself be free and also let him be in his world. It was freedom and youth at its highest. I mean, I was enjoying myself and living and so was he. I had been experiencing a type of freedom I never had before which was as a result of moving out of my parents’ house and finding out my previous relationship wasn’t going anywhere. It was just a myriad of ropes that snapped and allowed me to find myself.

Yet, the man I chose ended up being the type of man who I could talk to and confide in. Sometimes even when he he was rough, he still managed to feel like home. He was sweet even though I could tell he was fighting with old habits. Don’t we all have those we fight against?

Of course, I managed to get caught in certain crossfires if that but needless to say, I survived. I feel like sometimes people can misjudge if they’re not in the situation or know what’s really going on behind closed doors but I always feel that we all have flaws and are worthy of forgiveness, especially if we carry good hearts.

I’ve found that all the complications and choices led to my being blessed to have a good man. I always felt fear of not knowing what the future held since I’m sure like others have had interesting experiences in their love life.

Given I had very little experience in relationships, I’ve managed to push through a lot of bull. Learning recent news of a few people I almost made it out with, made me feel grateful that I had who I have. I feel like anyone who knows me knows I had been through a lot on my own.

This relationship also after all, allowed me to be vulnerable.

I was always down to experience a new person but not down to immediately move into the idea of forever after. I was having fun, I was young but each time he would express an idea of a deeper meaningful relationship by being a gentleman, it always turned me out. I was with a man.

He changed the idea of never getting married in me. What’s more, is his respect for people in general. I’m sure as most men do, have their moments of whatever men think about or do of course but for the most part, I got lucky to say that I’ve found love where I didn’t expect to find it at all.

Above all, like I told a friend earlier this week, some questions just have no answers and we don’t need to know all of the answers.

We just need to love hard and cherish each moment that we are alive, whether we are in a relationship or not.

I’m thankful I had experienced other people and relationships before I got to say yes to the one I wanted and don’t feel that “what if” feeling, even if I wished at some moments I could’ve done certain things differently in the way I handled situations which simply reminds me that that’s the beauty of life.

Per usual, we take the test before we learn the lesson. I learned how to forgive without receiving an apology nor seeking one.

Not saying follow my example but if you’re still in that zone of finding yourself, let yourself be free and enjoy the moments that come. Someday you’ll look back and be happy that tons of people contributed to the quality of your life and don’t focus on the negative. Both positive and negative things happen but which side you pay attention to more will determine how you view things.

Always live with love, peace, and happiness.

Love,

Martha

Just Feels Different

Hey guys,

So I’m going to get a little deep with this post. I’m sure you all have had these types of moments. The moments that I speak of are moments of clarity. Sometimes we go through life unchecked, sometimes not told of the consequences of our actions, and often judged for them.

I can only tell you that my move to another state has helped me grow in ways that I could never have imagined. I feel that if I had stayed in the same pit that I was in, I would’ve never changed this much. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have been if I never stepped foot out of my comfort zone and living space.

I’ve run into different kinds of of people in my life from where I used to live to where I live now. I have experienced being completely new to a city. I have learned how people can take advantage of that and most of all, how sometimes the ones you least expect end up having your back the most. I know we all know these types of feelings; the moments of clarity that reach our heart and remind us where we came from and how we got here. It reels us in to evaluate and reflect.

I thank God truly that I’ve been able to experience this much of my life. I’ve been able to experience love in many ways as well as the other side of the spectrum. I’ve experienced the furthest depths of my emotions and recently, have been learning how to discipline them to the best of my ability.

The mind is such a powerful thing. The mind can either work for your benefit if you train it well and it can also be your downfall, if you don’t pay attention. Mindless decisions can create mindless consequences. Although now I’m more mindful of them, even the mindless ones have helped shape me.

I just don’t feel like the person I used to be 5 years ago; and like 5 years before that, I wasn’t the same person then either. Growth is such a powerful thing. You can be a totally different person if enough experiences happen and if enough time passes. You’ll be lucky to say that you were able to and change any bad habits or bad choices of yesterday to prevent repeated mistakes.

This week for me has been the focal point of acceptance. I’ve made tons of choices, some of which I wish I could explain or apologize to certain people for. I have wanted to speak on moments that I wanted closure or clarification for but time has forced me to move on. This taught me that if I run into those thoughts and if it’s for a situation that has long since been forgotten, to not force the conversation and instead, to let it go and forgive myself. Always forgive yourself. You are human and not one of us is perfect.

This week taught me that some things are better left unsaid.

With that said, it doesn’t change how grateful and thankful I am today. I have been blessed to have come across certain people, experience what they offered good or bad, but most importantly, to be able forgive the bad. These moments of clarity are necessary to maintain a perspective and continue moving, in the direction of growth. Learning from your mistakes clears the way for you to allow yourself to forgive yourself and not be afraid to make anymore because that is how we learn. We learn from our own mistakes and if we are lucky we can learn from other’s mistakes.

Some people learn these things too late, sometimes early enough to enhance their life in a better way, and some people never get to have that moment.

Either way, I hope that life is most forgiving to you and that the universe grants you the dreams and aspirations you push and work for. Always be mindful of the energy you give it because surely enough, it will give you that same energy back.

Remember to always be:


Love,

Martha

September Update

Hey guys so glad to see you all back here!

So tons and tons has happened since I last posted. Last big event that happened was that I got proposed to by the man I have always wanted. Next thing you know, I realized that was asked of me afterwards is when’s the date, how, who, what, where, and I’m like, huh?

I never knew how weddings can get really complicated but I did know how I can use this as an opportunity to create something out of me. I did know that wedding planning is difficult but I felt like I could handle it. Then, to my surprise, I reached out to someone who was also getting married even though at the moment I thought she had already gotten married (I was trying to get referrals of catering, DJ, etc.) I wanted to create something simple and not so crazy since I decided if I’m going to do this I might as well try referrals first. Then to my luck and surprise she let me know one day she wanted start up a an event planning company. So we spoke and I feel personally that the wedding will be beautiful, simple and inexpensive.

Ladies, if you decide you’re about to get married, know that it is not a walk in the park. Research goes into the venue after you decide on a date because why? You have to know if they’ll even be available for when you want it! To my surprise, tons of couples schedule these things years ahead of time and I’m like within months of wanting to get married. Whoops! Well I wanted to do something cute and simple without it being effortless. If you have that kind of money, though, you’ll be able to afford a wedding planner.

I want there to show the work that I also put in to this but I trust the person I spoke with. Plus to me, this an opportunity to practice project management. Yes, that is a thing.

Anyway, I realized as of last weekend, I wasn’t exactly a “party girl” anymore. I went out to Spain for the weekend just to enjoy myself. I got sloppy reaaaaaaaaal fast. Definitely underestimated my capacity lol! I haven’t been out in a while though and the drinks after a while started to taste like water. By the time I realized how drunk I was, I was chugging water and water and dancing as much as I could to sober up. One thing I can say is I’m a professional sober upper haha. Bathroom, water, and physical activity. Food is ideal but I was NOT about to break the diet 🙂

Lastly, this one client I have been helping with her weight loss has been making me so unpredictably proud! It’s like insane and amazing to see someone change their whole bodies and lose some weight and keep it down and not only that but be able to incorporate physical activity. Literally I have made it a priority to help my community as best as possible. I just enjoy trying to get into the swing of things. Since I’m still learning it feels challenging but my client has been doing an amazing job so it makes me feel like I am.

I’ve revisited my past for a moment, sometimes one feels like before moving on or forward, one must reassure and accept the past as being what it is, the past. I just felt so heart freeing after saying my piece telling of my peace. It was liberating.

I just felt a lot of the times in my past I was too savage on my own. Lately though, I have been doing tons of things, even to this day, to work on it. Lately though, I’ve been focusing my energy on my strengths.

Don’t forget guys, to work on yourselves everyday. I cannot stress how important that is. Everyday if you can, listen to some motivational videos, do some physical activity, let your day be more than just another day of nothingness and you’ll see eventually the fruit of all your labors. One thing is for sure, hard work WILL pay off.

Love,

Martha

Sautéed Shrimp & Zucchinni

Hi guys, welcome back! So I know I did promise a Shrimp & Zucchini recipe for you guys to try. It’s super quick and easy not to mention deeeeelicious! I came up with this one day because Kroger’s was selling a bag of shrimp for like $13 dollars. I was like whaattt *grabs bag*. Lately we have been on this zucchini craving lately so I went and bought a few to cut up and sauté. The day came to make a quick dinner and it only took about 10-15 minutes to make! Like I said, so quick and easy especially for people who want to meal plan or just eat something quick but filling.

So first, grab a nice bag of shrimp, I would recommend the big ones, I grabbed a 21/25 count, because they get smaller once they cook a little in the pan (as I’ve discovered on my own).

This can serve around 3-4 and does not require much prepping.

Make sure to have:

  • 1 TBSP Butter
  • 1 TBSP Olive oil
  • 1 medium uncooked zucchini (cut into 1/4 inch slices)
  • 1/2 TBS Garlic powder
  • 1/2 TBS Parsley
  • 1/4 TSP Black pepper
  • 1/2 TSP Salt
  • 1/2 Cup grape tomatoes (optional)
  • 1.5 cups of large-size pealed shrimp

What I did first was cut up the zucchini first into 1/4 inch slices and put it on the side.

Then I placed the olive oil in the pan and waited a few minutes to get hot. How I can tell if the pan is hot sometimes is I splash a little water and if it crackles, it’s pretty good on heat.

Then I place the zucchini slices in the pan and cook until it’s golden on both sides by mixing and flipping the zucchinis for around 5 minutes, during this time I sprinkle over the black pepper, salt, and garlic powder. Once it’s cooked I place it on the side.

Next, I put butter in my pan, assuming it’s still on and hot (using a check method first) I go ahead and add my shrimp to the pan and start moving it around to get the shrimp cooked on all sides. During this time I am adding my parsley in between and making sure all of the shrimp is lightly covered (add more if needed). The shrimp is cooked when you no longer see the greys and translucent of the shrimp. It should be a reddish, pink color.

I add my tomatoes at the end and let it cook with the shrimp by tossing and moving it around in the pan until the tomatoes are softened. Then I put my zucchini back in the pan to get hot and voila I’m done!

Now you can serve and what would be recommended is 1 and 1/4 cups to serve or however you decide you would like to eat it. Make sure you keep in mind portion control! Small meat, more veggies, and small complex carbs.

Unfortunately my husband loves the white rice and pasta so I had to make him white rice. I stuck with my shrimp and veggies though to keep it disciplined.

It is a HARD road to be disciplined but believe me, it will totally pay off in the long run and I will keep posting more healthy meal ideas for you health lovers and weight watchers.

Until next time.

Love,

Martha